Fear

Yesterday I let fear dominate me. I did write, but only for an hour and then I skipped off into the world to do chores and visit my mother.  A mistake I’ve decided.  Leaving without having put in hours of writing broke the discipline and in breaking the discipline allowed the fear to soar.  And as the fear soared I had nothing to push it back with except that one hour of writing.

This morning is different. I have been writing and will continue writing for at least 4 hours. My plan is to write each day from 8 am to noon and then stop, giving myself the afternoon for the gym, time with friends, the mendacity of life.

Fear is interesting. It creeps in at strange moments and grabs hold when you aren’t looking. Impossible for it not to occur as you look at your bank balance or think of the status you’ve given up. Avoiding fear or stopping it from occurring is not the solution. In this process the solution is to have my battalion of arms at the ready to wave in its face – the hours of work.

Because I can do it. My writing is improving. I have a story to tell. I will be successful.

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